From Judgment to Curiosity: How My Inner Critic Met My Inner Scientist (and Why Your Vibe Check Matters)
From Judgment to Curiosity: How My Inner Critic Met My Inner Scientist (and Why Your Vibe Check Matters)
Let me tell you about Maya. I met her the other day, and almost immediately, my internal alarm bells started ringing. My brain, bless its protective little heart, went into overdrive. Stuck up. Fake enlightened. One of those people. You know the type. I categorized her, neatly tucking her into a mental box labeled "Avoid at All Costs." My neuroception—my nervous system’s unconscious "vibe check"—had decided she was a threat, even though there was no actual danger.
It’s a familiar pattern, isn’t it? That instant, visceral reaction to someone new, or even to a situation. Before my conscious mind could even form a coherent thought, my body had already made a judgment. And for a long time, I just accepted these snap judgments as truth. But what if there’s more to the story? What if that initial "vibe check" is actually an invitation to a deeper understanding, both of others and, more importantly, of ourselves?
This is where the fascinating dance between interoception and exteroception comes into play, and why developing a kinder relationship with ourselves starts with noticing.
Are You Prepared to Die? A Temazcal Journey into the Heart of Healing
"Are you prepared to die?"
This was the question Shaman Leo asked us, his voice cutting through the thick, humid air of the Temazcal ceremony this week. For those unfamiliar, a Temazcal is an ancient Mesoamerican sweat lodge ritual, a powerful, womb-like space of darkness, heat, and steam, designed for purification and rebirth. The question itself felt like a physical blow, taking my breath away—not just the heat, but the sheer audacity of it in a culture so utterly terrified of aging, decay, and death.
But as I sat there, sweating my ass off, something shifted. It wasn't just about physical death. It made me reflect on the profound power of letting things die within us. Instead of constantly resisting, fighting, and clinging to parts of ourselves that no longer serve us, what if we could, with intention, lay them to rest? On purpose. What if we could orchestrate a ceremonial funeral for the aspects of ourselves that are ready to go?
This idea, as intense as the Temazcal itself, resonates deeply with how I approach healing, both personally and with my clients in Burlington and Oakville. I work extensively with the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, which assumes we are all made up of many different "parts." These aren't separate personalities, but rather sub-personalities—thoughts, feelings, sensations, and beliefs—that make up the rich, often messy, tapestry of who we are.